Yes folks, my son is bound and determined to set new world records. Today I do believe he succeeded! The new record set was for the enormity and impressiveness of a temper tantrum thrown in a public place, specifically a place requiring "inside voices."
We went to the library, normally something that Eli adores. There was a little mother/baby social hour in place of story time so we went in for a bit. Eli started getting bored so we went to go pick out books. We got a few choice books on things with wheels and a couple on furry things then went to go play with the toys and color. Cue dramatic performance stage left!!!!
Tantrum #1: A little girl had her juice with her. I left Eli's in the car.
I manage to calm the beast.
Tantrum #2: I suggest he read one of the digger books we have.
With more effort, I calmed the beast.
Tantrum #3 (these are escalating in volume and drama with each subsequent tantrum): I suggest he color. WOAH! He goes to the table and hucks the crayons in their box across the room. Crayons scatter and the other children in the room look over in awe and anticipation for the punishment that is surely going to accompany such an outburst.
I inform Eli that he is SO done, we don't throw things - especially at the library - EVER! We are going HOME! I inform him that throwing crayons is making a very poor choice and he has lost his library privileges for the day and request he help me clean up his mess.
Tantrum #4: Lots of screaming! Now he wants to color.
me: Nope, sorry kiddo, you lost your privileges. We need to go home.
eli: MORE screaming. Want to color, want to read stories!!!!
me: Sorry buddy, we need to go home now.
Xander: join the screaming chorus.
me: bodily pack screaming infant (thank you Moby wrap) and flailing, thrashing, screaming child toward the door that I swear just sprouted a few extra limbs and dissolved all of his bones so there is nothing firm for me to grab onto.
eli: continue kicking and screaming with quite impressive volume and range.
me: smile apologetically to other library patrons - note the looks of "Holy Cow! I am glad that isn't my kid!" on their faces.
One of the girls at the library helped me check out our books that I was trying to just put back on the reshelving shelf. Octopus boy manages to stop crying and actually starts laughing as he helped the girl check out our books. I replaced the books in our bag.
Eli wanted to get a drink from the drinking fountain because his terrible mother left his drink in the car. I don't know what it was about this drinking fountain today. Maybe there was an evil spirit that jumped at the chance to inhabit the body of a 2-year-old causing this next outburst. Eli couldn't push the button to make the water come out so he started screaming and smacking
his head on the fountain. Then he got mad because he hurt his head. Hello, who saw that one coming?
Eli morphed back into demon-possessed, flailing, screaming octopus boy and I again resumed my efforts of corralling him to the car. No small feat.
After deafening all the library patrons and making them feel much better about their lives, I get Eli into the car. I put Xander in his carseat then turn to tackle the beast. I will admit I had to be a bit forceful to hold this kid still in order to buckle him in. There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth. The denizens of the seventh circle of hell were probably put to shame with their paltry noises compared to Eli's production. I am sure they were all hastily scribbling notes on how to improve their act.
I offer him his drink as a peace offering. Mistake on my part. He hucks the juice out into the parking lot. The lid pops off from the force of the landing and his life-sustaining nectar splashes all over the pavement. Whoever designs these cups didn't take into account the physics involved in being thrown around so vigorously.
I give up on peace offerings or cease fire agreements and just remove all objects that could be used as projectiles from his tentacled reach and get in the car and drive home. There were several more tirades serenading our drive home from, music on!, music off, window down, window up, stop at Pauls (our local market), shoes off, shoes on, go to the library (hah! fat chance), go for walk, and even a Mommy hugs (I do believe that would have just been to pummel me with something or pierce my eardrums - keep your enemies closer and all that).
At last we are in the garage. I go to take him out of the carseat and he doesn't want me to unbuckle him. I go and take Xander in the house. More screaming. He wants out of the carseat. I take him out and then he wants to go in the house. I go to take him in the house and then he wants to stay and play with the steering wheel. I take him in and pack his squirmy little body upstairs. Somehow he calmed enough to want to snuggle and read stories. I got some food and water in him and put that kid to bed! Whew.
And the winner of the Most Impressive Tantrum Thrown in a Public Place, Specifically a Place Requiring "Inside Voices."goes to none other than Elias Jack Nelson!!!! Give him a hand folks! (maybe a hand to smack his bottom). I am such a proud mother.
Whew. I need a nap now.
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6 comments:
sounds like a fun day :>) it sure is good that their good moments outweigh their bad ones! Brendan had a similar incident with throwing the cup out the car door last week, but I didn't realize it until we got down the street. When I drove back to the parking lot, I found it had been SMASHED...what can you do? I must say though that Eli does look angelic in his pictures :>)
I agree with Amy.. at least the kids are good more than they are a handful. Kyle's tantrums have been escalating too, full out screaming and crying and no way to console him. Just two weeks ago we went to the pool with some friends and Kyle I know was just tired and had a meltdown to the extreme I had never seen before infront of new friend. At least other mothers understand.
I was talking to my mother in law about this because sometimes I wonder if I'm scarring him because he's so upset and I don't want him to be a sad child that thinks his mommy doesn't love him but she told me that he won't remember the tantrums just who is in charge. We just sometimes at least at home have to hold our ground and distraction still kind of works.
I think Georgette and I can wait for these tantrums to occur...
Andrew has small tantrums now. Whenever he thinks he's not done eating and is removed, he will sputter a cry and then wail for a minute. He's like HEY! WHAT is going on? I'm not done eating!
He also puts on quite a tantrum when we put him in his car seat now until I start swinging him.
We did find your rendition of his tantrum quite hilarious in it's Calvanistic flair. I wonder when he is going to create a club called G.R.O.S.S. ... I wish I could have seen the look on the other kids faces when they saw him chuck the crayons across the room and they watch in fascinated horror at the impending doom that is about to descend on him. A hush settles across the room. Not a split second earlier there was a semi deafening crash of crayons just after a squeal and screech from a child.
A moment of silence creeps in and many little eyeballs pry themselves from their previous engagement to behold a mess and incoming justice to the thrown crayons. Many wonder if this was this is his last act in life. Some wonder if he had lived a good life, while others hope his fate will not befall them. Though they try, they cannot pry their eyes from the horror that is about to commence, they watch in awe and fascination.
Oh my!! What a day you guys had! I hope you got your much needed nap!! Mya has been having some of those "fun" moments lately too - isn't it fun being a mommy to a toddler? :)
Love you lady!!
Hang on a sec, I have to go change because I pee'd my pants laughing! Kirsten, I have SO been there and that makes it even funnier! Your wit and sense of humor is such a gift. Thanks for making my day!
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