A Successfull Experiment in the Laboratory of Parenthood

One thing Brandon and I have learned recently is the importance of being able to switch our emotions. When feeling sad, you have the ability to switch that emotion to happy. When you become frustrated, you can be calm. You can make this switch as quickly as changing the channel on the TV. (Though it takes a bit of practice...maybe slightly more than a bit).

We always are in control of how we choose to respond to things around us. Victor Frankl (a survivor of Auschwitz in WWII Germany) wrote in his book Man's Search For Meaning, that through his horrendous experiences at the hands of the Nazi's, he realized that no one was able to force him to think anything. No matter what the external circumstances, he always was able to choose his thoughts and responses.

So, if we can change our thoughts and emotions just like changing the channels on the TV, why would we choose to keep it on an unpleasant station? I, personally, would much rather find a more pleasant program.

Eli is a very observant child. When I start getting a little snippy or grumpy, he looks at me and asks, "Are you happy, Mommy?" Until recently, I used to just force a smile and pretend like I was happy.

I realized I was missing a great teaching opportunity. Rather than faking happiness and hiding the way I was really feeling, I began telling him how I was really feeling. I followed that up with what I was going to do to change that. Usually, when I am frustrated or grumpy, we go for a walk and my mood improves dramatically.

I communicate to him that I am not feeling so happy and then I tell him the different things I can do to change my mood so I can feel happy again.

Last week at the grocery store, Eli started throwing a fit in the store (mostly because he was hungry because he refused to eat his breakfast before we left). It started escalating, and then he stopped and came up to me and said, "Mommy, I'm just a little bit grumpy. I want to just sit in the cart now."

The lady next to me got a hearty laugh out of Eli's declaration. It was a very proud moment for me. What I have been teaching is getting through!

Over the last week, when Eli starts getting a little out of control he will tell me he is "feeling just a little bit grumpy" and either curl up in the chair, go up to his room for a bit, or go outside and play!! Needless to say, I am ecstatic to see these changes in my little 3-year-old!

I can only think of how knowing that he can control his emotions and he never has to allow his emotions to control him will affect his life. Even more than that, it just reaffirms to me that if a 3-year-old can learn to control his emotions, I can, too!

Man, these kids are incredible teachers!